Let me start by admitting that I know very little about suicide and will make no attempt to preach to the billiard community.

What I do want to share is my observation of the family that makes up our little corner of the world.

It is painfully apparent that Helena Thornfeldt was one of the most universally liked players in the game. Anyone who had the good fortune to meet her would likely immediately comment on 1.) her wide smile, 2.) her laugh, 3.) her delightfully round face and big cheeks, 4.) her little nose, and 5.) how authentic she was.

I loved to hear her laugh, which she did often and for almost any reason. But my favorite was listening to her throw out street-smart lingo with that adorable Swedish accent.

While Helena was not the oversized personality that took over a room when she entered, it took little more than a brief conversation with her to know that she was a person of grit, determination and, most of all, heart.

And, man, could she break the balls! A born straight-pool player (and one of the best women straight-pool players in the world), Helena got the hang of pounding a 9-ball rack pretty quickly. She possessed as much talent as anyone on the women’s tour but winning never came easy (or terribly often) for Helena. She admitted to having confidence issues when facing the likes of Allison Fisher and Karen Corr, both of whom were in their absolute primes at the same time Helena was. And she was known to stew during matches when things weren’t going well.

Still, she put it all together for some big wins — the WPBA U.S. Open 9-Ball Championship and the Gordon’s 9-ball event for starters — and was rarely out of the Classic Tour’s top five. The WPBA put her in its hall of fame.

The opportunities for players and fans alike to see Helena waned over the past decade. Between the dearth of women’s tournaments in the U.S. and her involvement in a poolroom near her Atlanta-area home, Helena wasn’t as visible as I’m sure many players and fans would have liked.

Still, it was like old-home days when she did travel to an event, attached at the hip to her best friend, Wisconsin’s Bonnie Arnold. I doubt she entered a hotel lobby or tournament arena where people didn’t light up at seeing her again.

Which, of course, is what makes her being gone so difficult for so many people to digest. There certainly was no shortage of people who loved Helena. And I truly believe that she did, indeed, know that she was loved by so many. But despair and hopelessness can reach levels most people just can’t fathom, me included. And while I hope to better understand, I hope never to experience those levels.

Disbelief, guilt and hurt are normal reactions, I’m sure. Pool’s corner of social media offered an incredible outpouring of sympathy. Stories of Helena’s wide-eyed grin and infectious laugh were attempts to soften the blow.

But more than just words, the billiard community mobilized, which isn’t at all surprising. Pool players, while often categorized as self-serving mercenaries, have proven themselves time and again to be generous to a fault. Even Helena’s years in the U.S. are freckled with tours in other players’ homes. On her very first visit in the early ’90s, she spent three weeks with in Wisconsin with Peg Ledman, a fellow player she’d met only briefly in Germany some months before. She lived for several years with Jeanette Lee in southern California. Taking in fellow players is nothing new in the pool world.

And after news of Helena’s death spread, a GoFundMe campaign was launched on behalf of the WPBA by room owner/player Janet Atwell. The request was ambitious; $15,000 to cover legal and service costs necessary to get Helena’s remains back to her family in Sweden. More than 160 fans and friends barely hesitated, generating more than enough to cover those costs in three short weeks.

This is what pool players do for one another. It is a sisterhood and a brotherhood. It is a subculture in that each player has an understanding of their brethren that people outside the subculture just don’t get.

It is what makes the pool world such a special place. It is also what makes loss cut deeper.