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Dear Jeanette
By Jeanette Lee
International billiard icon "The Black Widow" answers your questions about life, love, and everything else that happens in the poolhall.

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January: Help the Willing
January 2010
Q. You can put me in the class of players that is always wanting to help the next generation. But how do you help others make advances with their games when they're not willing to help themselves?
Dustin Crowe; Blanchester, Ohio

A. My advice would be to find someone else with whom to spend your time. There are so many kids that can use your support and advice. They would be lucky to have you as a willing guide. You know the phrase, "God helps those who help themselves"? It's the same way with people: Show me a little effort, and I'll give you my time. The worst thing you can do is to enable someone to continue being lazy. If someone shows no interest in improving as a player, pay them no attention. Make it clear that when they are ready to take responsibility for themselves and their game, you will be right there to help them. Let them know that you believe in them, but you will not allow them to give anything but maximum effort - doing so only reinforces bad habits. In the meantime, find someone else to offer your kindness to. You'll save yourself a lot of heartbreak and hopefully, force him to help himself!